I'M TAKING A RISK HERE

Here is what fellow captives call the "Grand Wizard"--I know, it's loses something in translation--and he started to talk to me when one of stern, pink-uniformed guards advanced and started pulling his strings. I asked to take him off his stake, and she said he was too heavy and then shrieked, "No photo!" I'm pretty sure he was going to impart more secrets of the Resistance, and I'm sure he appreciates everyone's support and concern.

Wizardry in Peril Part II...

Is there a God? How can an omnipresent ruler of the universe keep allowing our Wizard brethren to be commercialized, exploited and made a mockery of? This grainy photo, (forgive the quality), was sent to me by a non-wizard informant. Apparently this photograph is being carried across our land via post, and is being used to sell over-priced housewares and clothing to women. We must put an end to this. Please send donations, incantations, and general feelings of positivity as soon as possible. We are all depending on you.

WIZARDRY IN PERIL

I just returned from a country I can't name and the news is not good, according to one brave wizard informant. He spoke in broken wizard English, so bare with me:

Apparently, despite all the advances, wizards are being shrunken, tied with string, sold for amusement.

The pain is evident in their faces.

The last photo depicts brave dissidents, who attempted protest and even escape. They were dealt the tonsorial blow that all wizards fear.

I am enlisting one and all for mercy missions. PLEASE HELP!